did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
