Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
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