Me. At least after what I've been through.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
this will be a night to untag.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
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