The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
