The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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