My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
This is my gift to your gina
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
