I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
