Whatcha textin bout Willis?
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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