At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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