i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
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