Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Randomize
