dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
Randomize
