bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Randomize
