I could have mohawked her pubes.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
