the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
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