I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
It was like getting head from an anaconda
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Randomize
