i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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