He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Randomize
