My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Randomize
