is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Randomize
