Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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