It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
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