sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
