My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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