Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
