So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Randomize
