Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
