i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
where does the pee come out of this thing
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
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