he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
