I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
foreskin is a definite game changer
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Randomize
