"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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