What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
