end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
We had sex on a dog bed..
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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