My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
