WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
you have to choose: penises or morals?
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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