Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
