I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
He did a backflip because drugs
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
