Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
