I think I can smell my own vagina right now
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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