I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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