Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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