R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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