He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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