she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
