your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
