I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Randomize
