The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
