so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Randomize
