Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Randomize
