your parents love me but you hate me
Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
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